top of page

I wrote this after seeing an old girlfriend


who had aged quite a lot .


I felt the sadness of what could not be


and felt my hands open up with praise


and wanting to stroke her with gestures of giving

Gestures of Giving

Old friend whose eyes

I suddenly see again


looking at me


How long have I been avoiding you?


Like the skinny kid next door


who always makes a lot of noise


trying to be noticed


When I look on him fully


catching his full attention


and our eyes meet


   I see the quieting in his chest


The feel of his mother touching him


Stroking him like she never did


Making his whole life softer


     and just with the praise of looking


And I can feel the weight of this knowing


like a vow


that I always know when I break


unless that breaking


goes on and on


for a long time




But even then


I remember


old friend


with your face banged and chastened by age


hiding behind carefully applied make-up


smiling at me


looking deeper



holding me with your attention


stroking me with recognition



The terrible hurt of life bursts open


and releases


We feel again with our bellies




Like a heavy weight finally put down




now grows and changes


And now,


Even my hands make gestures of giving

bottom of page