THE WOUND OF LOVE
by: Adi Da Samraj
True Intimacy Is Not any relationship itself, but Real and Effective Heart Practice In that
True Intimacy Is A Sadhana (or A Spiritual, and, Ultimately, Transcendental, and Divine, Discipline), Not merely a conventional social ideal.
True Intimacy Is A self-Transcending Discipline That Directly Transcends The Dissociative Method Of egoity, The Idea Of the psycho-physical self As An Owner Of others, and The Idea Of others As Property. Therefore, True Intimacy Replaces The Motive Of egoic Independence and The Psychology Of True Intimacy Requires (or Always Calls For) Real and Steady Relinquishment Of egoic Independence, or all egoically "self-Possessed" demands, expectations, and complaints, all rituals of rejection, mistrust, and reactivity, and all strategies of depression, pleasurelessness, and promiscuity (or All Merely Casual, or reactively Motivated, or Negatively Intended, or Otherwise Un-"Considered", Merely ego-Serving, and Mechanical Indulgence or Involvement In emotional-sexual activity with any other or others, or even with that, or any, established intimate partner).
Therefore, True Intimacy Requires (or Always Calls For) Real and Steady Relinquishment Of Even any and all limits On Love.
As A Natural Means To True Intimacy, the partners In Love Are Required (or Always Called) To Incarnate The Two Primary Signs (or Complementary and Polar Opposite Aspects) Of The Divine and Universal Natural Dynamic Of Life. Therefore, the masculine partner Is Required (or Always Called) To Submit himself To Incarnate (or Extend) The Divine Husbanding (or Conserving) Power (or To Practice The True Man's Yoga) Through Steady Control (or Right Directing) Of the energy and attention of himself and his feminine partner, and By Constantly Arousing (In himself and In his feminine partner) The Motive Of Right Restraint, Right Intention, and Right Use Of human energy and attention. And the feminine partner Is Required (or Always Called) To Submit herself To Incarnate (or To Extend) The Divine Goddess-Power (or To Practice The True Woman's Yoga) Of Attraction, self-Submission, and Nurturing, By Constantly Feeding her masculine partner With The Life-Power Of her personal energy and attention, and By Constantly Arousing The Motive Of Heart-Submission and Heart-Radiance In herself and In her masculine partner.
Only A Fool Will Fail To Cultivate The Relationship To The Beloved. Therefore, Only A Fool Will Fail To Cultivate The human Well-being and The Spiritual, Transcendental, and Divine Realization Of Love's partner In Love. And This Is Also True: The ego (or the self-Contracted individual) Is Just Such A Fool!
The emotional-sexual ego Constantly Hunts For an other. The ego-"I" (or self-Contraction) Hunts (or Seeks) an other (Even all others and The Total Objective Cosmos) In Order To Be Gratified, Consoled, and Protected. The Compulsive Hunting (or Search) For an other Is Generated By The Feelings Of Un-Happiness, Emptiness, and Separateness That Possess and Characterize the self-Contracted being.
Once an other Is Found, the ego-"I" Clings To the other, At First pleasurably, and Then Aggressively. The ego-"I" Depends On the other For Happiness, and, Over time, the ego-"I" Makes Greater and Greater Demands On the other For Fulfillment Of itself (In all of its desires). Often, In time, the other Becomes Depressed and Exhausted By This Demand (and Thus Leaves, or Dies). Just As Likely, the ego-"I" Discovers, Over time, That the other Cannot or Will Not Satisfy The Absolute Demand For attention and Consolation. In That Case, the ego-"I" Feels Betrayed, and the ego-"I" Begins The Strategy Of Punishing, Rejecting, and Abandoning the other.
Every conditionally Manifested being Has (In time) Often Been The Proposed Victim Of This Strategy Of Separate and Separative selves. Even More, Until The Heart Gives Way To Divine Love-Bliss, every conditionally living being Is The Original Genius and Grand Performer Of This Strategy Of Separate and Separative selves. It Is The Strategy Of Narcissus, and It Is The Dreadful Work Of all conditionally living beings who Are Not Awake To The Truth Beyond the ego-"I".
If There Is To Be Real Happiness, This Cycle Of egoic "self-Possession" and other-Dependency (or object-Dependency Generally) Must Be Transcended. In The Way Of The Heart, It Is Transcended Through Most Fundamental self-Understanding, and Through self-Transcending Love, Service, self Discipline, and Meditation (In Responsive Devotional Relationship To Me, and, Thus and Thereby, In Responsive Devotional Relationship To The Divine Person), and (Eventually, By Grace) Through Direct Realization Of The Self-Radiant (or Inherently Spiritual), Self-Existing (or Transcendental), and (Ultimately) Divine Self-Condition Of Being (Itself). In This Manner, The Inherent Happiness Of The Spiritual, Transcendental, and Divine Self Replaces The Fruitless Search (or Hunt) For Happiness By the self-Contracted and Dependent conditional self.
The egoic (or self-Contracted) individual Is (By Virtue Of his or her History, self-Idea, and Lack Of Spiritual, Transcendental, and Divine Realization) Chronically Bound To The Ritual Of Rejection. The emotional (or emotional-sexual) Career Of egoity Tends To Manifest As A Chronic Complaint That Always Says, By Countless Means, "You Do Not Love me." This Abusive Complaint Is Itself The Means Whereby the egoic individual Constantly Enforces his or her Chronic Wanting Need To Reject, Avoid, or Fail To Love others. Indeed, This Complaint Is More Than A Complaint. It Is A self-Image (The Heart-Sick or self-Pitying and Precious Idea That "I" Is Rejected) and An Angry Act Of Retaliation (Whereby others Are Punished For Not Sufficiently Adoring, pleasurizing, and Immortalizing the Precious ego-"I").
The egoic (or self-Contracted) individual Is Chronically and Reactively Contracted From all of its relations. Fear Is The Root Of this self-Contraction, and The Conceived Purpose Of this self-Contraction Is self-Preservation, Even self-Glorification. Indeed, Fear Is the self-Contraction. The self-Contraction, or the ego-"I", Is The Root-Action or Primal Mood That Is Fear. Therefore, All Of The self-Preserving, self-Glorifying, and other-Punishing Efforts Of the ego-"I" (or the self-Contracted body-mind) Only Preserve, Glorify, and Intensify Fear Itself.
Fear, the ego-"I", Un-Love, or The Total Ritual Of self-Contraction Must Be Understood and Transcended. All Of Fear, egoity, self-Contraction, or Un Love Is Only Suffering. It Is Only Destructive. And It Is Entirely Un-Necessary.
Fear, egoity, self-Contraction, or Un-Love Is Chronically Expressed Through The Complex Ritual Of Rejection, or The Communication Of The Dominant Idea "You Do Not Love me". Once This Is (In The Way Of The Heart) Truly, and Completely, and Most Fundamentally Understood, The Ritual Of Rejection, Fear, egoity, self-Contraction, or Un-Love Can Be
Directly Transcended, If Only It Is Summarily Replaced By The Ordeal (or Discipline and Practice) Of self-Transcending Love, and (Then, By Grace) Heart-Communion With and (Ultimately) Heart-Communication Of The Divine Self-Condition, In The Form "I Love You".
Therefore, In The Way and Manner Of The Heart, Understand Your Separate and Separative self (As Un-Love) and Transcend Your Separate and Separative self (By Love). And This Is Perfected (Progressively, In The Way and Manner Of The Heart) By Devotional (or self-Transcending and self-Forgetting) Heart-Surrender Of the conditional body-mind To My Bodily (Human) Form, and My Spiritual (and Always Blessing) Presence, and My Very (and Inherently Perfect) State, and, Thus and Thereby, To The Person and The Forms or Characteristics Of The Spiritual, and Transcendental, and Divine, Self.
If You Will Thus Be Love (By This Devotion), You Must Also Constantly Encounter, Understand, and Transcend The Rejection Rituals Of others who Are, Even If Temporarily or Only Apparently, Bereft Of Divine Wisdom. Therefore, If You Will Be Love (As My Devotee, and, Thus and Thereby, As A Devotee Of The Divine Person), You Must (In The Way and Manner Of The Heart) Always Skillfully Transcend The Tendency To Become Un-Love (and Thus To Become self-Bound, Apparently Divorced From Grace-Given Divine Communion) In Reaction To The Apparent Lovelessness Of others. And You Must Not Withdraw From Grace-Given Divine Communion (or Become Degraded By Un-Love) Even When Circumstances Within Your Intimate Sphere, or Within The Sphere Of Your Appropriate social Responsibility, Require You To Make Difficult Gestures To Counter and Control The Effects or Undermine and Discipline The Negative and Destructive Effectiveness Of The Rituals Of Un-Love That Are Performed By others.
For those who Are Committed To Love (and who Always Commune With The One Who Is Love), Even Rejection By others Is Received and Accepted As A Wound, Not An Insult. Even The Heart-Necessity To Love and To Be Loved Is A Wound. Even The Fullest Realization Of Love Is A Wound That Never Heals.
The egoic Ritual Calls every individual To Defend himself or herself Against The Wounds Of Love and The Wounding Signs Of Un-Love (or egoic self-Contraction) In the daily world. Therefore, Even In The Context Of True Intimacy, The Tendency (Apart From Spiritual Responsibility) Is To Act As If Every Wound (Which Is Simply A Hurt) Is An Insult (or A Reason To Punish).
The Reactive Rituals Of egoity Must Be Released By The self-Transcending (and Then Spiritual) Practice Of Love. This Requires Each and Every Practitioner Of The Way Of The Heart To Observe, Understand, and Relinquish The emotionally Reactive Cycle Of Rejection and Punishment. And The Necessary Prerequisites For Such Relinquishment Are Vulnerability (or The Ability To Feel The Wounds Of Love Without Retaliation), Sensitivity To the other In Love (or The Ability To Sympathetically Observe, Understand, Forgive, Love, and Not Punish or Dissociate From the other In Love), and Love Itself (or The Ability To Love, To Know You Are Loved, To Receive Love, and To Know That Both You and the other, Regardless Of Any Appearance To The Contrary, Are Vulnerable To Love and Heart-Requiring Of Love).
It Is Not Necessary (or Even Possible) To Become Immune To The Feeling Of Being Rejected. To Become Thus Immune, You Would Have To Become Immune To Love Itself. What Is Necessary (and Also Possible) Is To Enter Fully Into The Spiritual Life-Sphere Of Love. In The Way Of The Heart, This Is Done By First Entering (By Heart) Into My Company (and, Thus and Thereby, Into The Company Of The Divine Person), and (Therein) To Submit To The Divine Embrace Of Love, Wherein Not Only Are You Loved, but You Are Love Itself. Then You Must Magnify That Love-Radiance In the world of human relationships.
If You Will Do This, Then You Must Do The Sadhana (or Concentrated Practice) Of Love. As A Practical Matter, You Must Stop Dramatizing The egoic Ritual Of Betrayal In Reaction To The Feeling Of Being Rejected. You Must Understand, Transcend, and Release The Tendency To Respond (or React) To Signs Of Rejection (or Signs That You Are Not Loved) As If You Are Insulted, Rather Than Wounded. That Is To Say, You Must Stop Punishing and Rejecting others When You Feel Rejected. If You Punish another When You Feel This, You Will Act As If You Are Immune To Love's Wound. Thus, You Will Pretend To Be Angrily Insulted, Rather Than Suffer To Be Wounded. In The Process, You Will Withdraw and Withhold Love. You Will Stand Off, Independent and Dissociated. You Will Only Reinforce The Feeling Of Being Rejected, and You Will Compound It By Actually Rejecting the other. In This Manner, You Will Become Un-Love. You Will Fail To Love. You Will Fail To Live In The Sphere Of Love. Your Own Acts Of Un-Love Will Degrade You, Delude You, and Separate You From Your Love-partner (or Your partners In Love) and From Love Itself. Therefore, those who Fail To Practice The Sadhana Of Love In their intimate emotional-sexual relationships, and In human relationships Generally, Will, By That Failure, Turn Away (or Contract) From God (or The Great Condition That Is Reality Itself ) .
Love Does Not Fail For You When You Are Rejected or Betrayed or Apparently Not Loved. Love Fails For You When You Reject, Betray, and Do Not Love. Therefore, If You Listen To Me, and Also If You Hear Me, and Also If You See Me, Do Not Stand Off From Relationship. Be Vulnerable. Be Wounded When Necessary, and Endure That Wound or Hurt. Do Not Punish the other In Love. Communicate To one another, Even Discipline one another, but Do Not Dissociate From one another or Fail To Grant one another The Knowledge Of Love. Realize That each one Wants To Love and To Be Loved By the other In Love. Therefore, Love. Do This Rather Than Make Any Effort To Get Rid Of The Feeling Of Being Rejected. To Feel Rejected Is To Feel The Hurt Of Not Being Loved. Allow That Hurt, but Do Not Let It Become The Feeling Of Lovelessness. Be Vulnerable and Thus Not Insulted. If You Are Merely Hurt, You Will Still Know The Necessity (or the Heart's Requirement) Of Love, and You Will Still Know The Necessity (or The Heart's Requirement) To Love.
The Habit Of Reacting To Apparent Rejection (By others) As If It Were An Insult Always Coincides With (and Only Reveals) The Habit Of Rejecting (or Not Loving) others. Any one whose Habitual Tendency Is To Reject and Not Love others In The Face Of their Apparent Acts Of Rejection and Un-Love Will Tend To Reject and Not Love others Even When they Are Only Loving. Narcissus, The Personification Of the ego, the self-Contraction, or The Complex Avoidance Of Relationship, Is Famous For his Rejection Of The Lady, Echo, who Only Loved him. Therefore, If You Listen To Me, and Also If You Hear Me, and Also If You See Me, Be Vulnerable In Love. If You Remain Vulnerable In Love, You Will Still Feel Love's Wound, but You Will Remain In Love. In This Manner, You Will Always Remain In The human (and Then Divine) Sphere Of Love.
Therefore, The Most Direct Way To Know Love In every moment Is To Be Love In every moment.